Characters:
Sun - unknown name as of now (female)
Star - unknown name as of now (unknown)
Moon - unknown name as of now (male)
Setting:
Outer Space
Sun is depressed and wants a boyfriend. Star, being Sun's best friend, is trying to figure out what kind of guy would make Sun happy. Star goes from planet to planet trying to "impress" her with whatever the planet is most known for (Roman and Greek Mythology). Star first starts out on pluto. Pluto is most known for being the king of the underworld but also is very cold. Knowing that Sun is very hot, Star tries to cool her off by pushing Pluto closer. Sun only ends up melting it.
Star moved on to Neptune, god of earthquakes. Star acts like he is really strong and tries to lift Neptune up. As soon as it is over his head he drops it and bounces off rattling about.
Star moves on to Uranus, a musician. Star starts using Uranus as an instrument (not sure which one yet) and plays her a song, but Sun is not impressed because she can play better.
Star shoots over to Saturn, god of time. Star squishes Saturn down into a watch, using the rings as the wrist strap, and gives it to her. Sun's heat is too strong and breaks the watch.
So Star keeps moving on and next up is Jupiter, god of rain. Jupiter starts to make rain and while Sun is watching it rain, the reflection hits the water and creates a rainbow. The star slides down the rainbow and it fades away. Sun gets upset again.
Star shoots over to Mars, god of war. He goes off screen and comes back with a canon and stuffs Mars inside. He shoots him off and hits a passing comet. The explosion makes fireworks that are in a shape of a heart, showing a romatic side. Sun smiles until it disappears.
Star continues his journey onto Earth. When he reaches Earth, he notices all of it's nature. He reaches inside and pulls out some flowers. Sun only makes them wilt because again her heat is too strong.
Star's next stop is Venus, goddess of beauty and love. The goddess has a "perfect figure" and is always seen smiling. Sun likes how buff this guy could be and notices such a bright smile. However she want's more than just good looks.
Star has one last stop, Mercury. Mercury is the god of wealth. Star reaches down inside adnd pulls out a $1,000,000 bill and gives it to Sun but it catches on fire. Sun is so disappointed and Star sits down to think.
Star sees Earth slowly pass by with a moon revolving around it. Star rushes over to Moon and takes it to Sun. Sun instantly fell in love. As they moved closer together the moon past right infron of the sun causing a "solar eclipse". (?Star shoots across them. The light from the eclipse slowly fades away. Credits begin?)
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3 comments:
Ashley,
I think this story is stronger than the Jimmy story, but I believe it needs some work. I would first suggest that instead of going through all nine planets, you should do less. Things usually work well when the happen in 3's. It just seems like the animation would go on too long. After 2 incidents, the audience would understand how star is struggling trying to find someone for sun. When the third time rolls around, the theme would be set and then you could throw the wrench in the story of earth not working either and then finally working in the end.
Also, have you thought of how you are going to depict each character. If you did 9 planets, that would suck. Are they just going to be round balls, or are they going to be characterized. Just something to think about.
Overall, it isn't a bad story, it just needs some refinement. Keep at it, its getting closer.
Ashley,
Cute story you got here. It's feels like the star is a little bit like tinkerbell. I can just see it moving fast, or with some jumpy movement with it. Maybe it could leave a trail behind it, although that might be a bit difficult to animate.
The begining of your story seems to drag on a little bit. I agree with Wayne on only doing a couple planets. Maybe Pluto or Jupiter, and the whole Earth story.
When the star sits down to think, what will he sit on? or will it just be a pause in his movement, or he could hunch over.
nice job!
I like this story, I think it has a lot of potential. How will we know that the star is trying to find love for the sun? How will the audience understand this part? You wrote "Sun is depressed and wants a boyfriend", but how do we know that is what she is thinking? And then how will we know that the star is going to help her? I agree that you probably only need around 3 incidents. Also, I understand why it doesn't work out with the sun and the planets (the sun burns them, ect.), but then why does it work with the moon? What makes the moon different from the others?
I think this idea a lot better than you original. Good job, and good luck!!! :)
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